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It’s not for numpties on the back page to comment on serious events like the cricket

Even the more distinguished columnists of this fine old paper will tell you that it’s no joke churning out the deathless prose, Sunday after Sunday. Paradoxically, for a simple hobbledehoy such as my ’umble self, yer honour, the task can be even more taxing than for those whose thoughtful efforts you will find closer to the front of this publication.

Daniel Radcliffe: ‘I was drunk during Harry Potter filming’

In his latest interview, Radcliffe admitted being drunk while on the Harry Potter film sets even though he does not disclose which ones. He has stated that his life went off the rails for a period when he turned 18 and was filming Harry Potter and The Half-Blood Prince as the pressures of fame made him so dependent on alcohol.

The alpha females who play at being tiny women

Hence, Kirsty Allsopp – TV star and property guru – opines on the importance of always putting your man first; while Louise Mensch – bestselling author, MP and self-styled successor to Mrs Thatcher – advises us to dress up and look good for our husbands, as “an act of love”. It’s as if, having secured their position at the top, they want to play at being tiny women, like Marie Antoinette pretending to be a peasant farmer.

Gwyneth Paltrow: women who want kids should be stay at home mothers

Miss Paltrow, who won an Oscar for her role in Shakespeare in Love, stated she cooks for her husband, Coldplay star Chris Martin, and bathes their children, Apple, 7, and Moses, 5. Miss Paltrow, 39, told Harper’s Bazaar: “I have tiny children in school. I want to maintain my marriage and my family, so I have to be here when he (Martin) comes home.” Describing advice she gave to a friend, she said: “She is an actress and in a ...

Harvey Nichols shoppers snap up Victoria Beckham’s new ‘Victoria’ line

Those keen to splash out on dresses from the new Victoria, Victoria Beckham line had better be quick, as some styles are already boasting waiting lists. BY Olivia Bergin | 31 January 2012 “Brand Beckham” really is booming.

Dame Judi Dench hits out at ‘inhumane’ care homes for elderly

“I don’t really want to retire,” Dame Judi told Saga magazine. “I intend to go on working as long as I can because I still have a large amount of energy. I’m certainly not ready to be packed away somewhere and told to put my feet up and go to bed at a certain time. “As anyone who’s visited one of these homes knows, you just can’t put people into a circle of chairs and have them watching tv all ...

Deep South drama The Help scoops honours at annual SAG awards

A French film star who is a newcomer to Hollywood’s awards scene with “The Artist,” Dujardin played a silent-era screen idol fallen on hard times as speaking photos take over in the late 1920s. “I was a very bad student. I did not listen in class. I was always dreaming,” Dujardin said.

Frank Skinner to become dad at 55

Co-presenter Alan Cochrane rushed to congratulate the star but asked: “Are you paranoid of any jokes you have made about ageing dads in the past?” Skinner – who topped the charts with England football team anthem Three Lions – responded: “David Jason – was not he 67? The way I’m seeing it is that I probably will not have to deal with those difficult teenage years. “I’ve already made certain pledges. It means I’ll be up for the show a ...

911 tape: Demi Moore ‘smoked something’ before convulsions

“She smoked something, it’s not marijuana but it is similar to incense. She seems to be having convulsions of some sort,” a female friend of Moore told emergency services when calling for an ambulance on Monday. “She has been having some issues. I do not know what she has been taking,” another woman at Moore’s house that night told the 911 operator.

Michael Jackson immortalised in cement

Jackson’s daughter Paris, 13, imprinted her father’s iconic silver sequinned glove and scrawled his name into the cement, adding a heart in between Michael and Jackson. Prince Michael and his brother Blanket, 9, put their father’s shoe into the cement, and all three left their own handprints next to dad’s.

John Travolta’s missing Mercedes recovered in pieces

Michael Green, 58, and DL Rayford, 52, were taken arrested in December but only publicised on Wednesday to avoid tipping off accomplices. “It was not recovered in whole, it was chopped,” he said. “We have numerous pieces recovered but not the entire car.” He stated detectives had informed Travolta about the recovery of his car.

Oscar nominations 2012: Hugo leads the way

Branagh, 51, is in the running for ideal supporting actor for his performance as Sir Laurence Olivier in Marilyn Monroe biopic My Week With Marilyn. He said: “It was a rare honour to play Sir Laurence Olivier. To be recognised by the Academy for doing so is overwhelming. I’m absolutely thrilled.” Newcastle-born McTeer, 50, is up for ideal supporting actress for her role in gender-bending drama Albert Nobbs.

Coronation Street: Becky McDonald’s exit

Popular Coronation Street actress Katherine Kelly, who plays fiesty Becky McDonald, bids farewell to the cobbles as she leaves the show in tonight’s dramatic double bill. Her ex-husband Steve (Simon Gregson) is about to marry former lover Tracy Barlow, but Becky turns up at their wedding and is determined to clear her name (Tracy blamed her recent miscarriage on Becky, but it’s all lies). Kelly can be seen at the National Theatre in Oliver Goldsmith’s She Stoops to Conquer from ...

Rula Lenska wants grandmothers to have maternity leave, too

She told the unctuous Richard Coles on Saturday Live on Radio 4 that, on one occasion, tabloid newspaper journalists had announced that she was pregnant, when, she said, she “hadn’t even been to the doctor.” Mandrake has no time for anyone involved in phone-hacking, but when it comes to pregnancy and Miss Jonsson, reporting it is no simple business.

Birdsong star Eddie Redmayne: the trenches were ‘nice’

As the star of Birdsong, the BBC’s new Sunday-night costume drama, Eddie Redmayne was expected to carry out some historical research. The actor has, however, come to some unexpected conclusions about the First World War trenches in which the characters fought. “Some of the pics of the dugouts are surprising because they’re really nice,” states Redmayne, 30, who was one of Prince William’s friends at Eton College.